Shiral (Journey)
by PersonAB
Summary: F!Cousland/M!Mahariel, since his clan could've been camped close to Highever. Duncan might as well pick up Bryce's spitfire child. Fighting over whose boss n shite, Gonna be following the story line n dialogue since i'm new to this.


**Yeah… first fanfic. Never wrote but this disclaimer business is always at the top of whatever I read so: Bioware games, characters, storyline don't belong to me. But this idea came to me while replaying DA:O, F!Cousland/M!Mahariel, since his clan could've been camped close to Highever. Duncan might as well pick up Bryce's spitfire child. **

Mahariel P.O.V

_Ugghh ….Tamlen….where are…where…the mirror…THOSE SHEMLEN! _I open my eyes, _I'm back at camp? How? Where's Tamlen?! _The Aravel creaks as I try to get up, the pelts covered me like a cocoon, and my sack is still attached to my leather belt. _If I'm back, Tamlen should have been put in the same Aravel too. Ugghh! The sun hurts my eyes, how long have I slept?_

"You're awake! You've the gods' own luck, lethallin. Everyone is worried sick about you! How do you feel? Your face looks strained." Fenarel asked while his eyes searched for any other differences.

"A little groggy but well enough, Fenarel. Where is Tamlen?"

"We don't know. The shem who brought you back two days ago here saw no sign of him."

_We killed the group of shems… another shemlen? _"I remember killing a group of shems, they told us of a cave…_only the keeper should know what happen..Merrill too_… I've been here for two days!"

"Oh…The keeper's not going to like that…but the shem who brought you back was a Grey Warden! He appeared out of nowhere with you slung over his shoulders. You were delirious with fever. He said that he found you outside a cave in the forest, unconscious and alone. He left you here and ran off again. The keeper's been using the old magic to heal you."

_The Keeper doesn't need to know of those shems, Tamlen is more important_"I need to talk to the Keeper right away…Fenarel, are the hunters looking for Tamlen?"

"Some are, most of them are looking for the cave. But the Keeper wanted to talk to you as soon as you awoke. Stay Here —I'll get her."

_Lethallin…I told you to step away. May the creators guide you back to us, Tamlen._

"I see you are awake, da'len. It is fortunate Duncan found you when he did…I know not what dark power held you, but it nearly bled the life from you. It was difficult even for my magic to keep you alive." Keeper Marethari looked at me with worry but more relieved seeing me pacing about.

_Duncan? The name of the shemlen…Grey Warden, who brought me back? _"If I were sick with fever then Tamlen could be gravely sick, as well? Once he is found your magic can heal him just as well as it did for me?"

"If he encountered the same thing you did, yes. The grey warden said he found you alone, outside the cave, already stricken. Duncan thought there may have been darkspawn creatures inside the cave. Is that true?" Keeper Marethari tried to keep the sound of worry of her words.

_If it were just the fever he could still be alive! _"I do not know what a darkspawn looks like, besides why listen to anything a shemlen says?"_What title deserves such respect? A Grey Warden is a special kind of shemlen? The last shemlens I listened to caused this mess!_

The Keeper must have seen the doubt and confusion in my eyes as she tells more of Grey Warden. "The Grey Wardens are an old and honorable order, da'len, and we Dalish have enough enemies, as for the darkpawn, they are like man, but dark and tainted with evil. Perhaps you fought one in the cave and it wounded you."

_The Mirror! _"Perhaps, I recall fighting giant spiders…and walking corpses, but the cave looked like it was designed by shemlen but Tamlen and I saw elven artifact scattered around, like this one" I give her the old wooden totem, small clumps of dirt still hung it "but there was a big mirror in one room I think that is what caused the sickness"

"A mirror? And it caused all this? I have never heard of a thing in all the lore we have collected" The Keeper sighs, she looks more agonized than before "I was hoping for answers when you awoke, but there are only more questions. And Tamlen remains missing. He is more important than any lore in these ruins. Duncan said he'd return to the cave to search for darkspawn, but we cannot rely on him to look for Tamlen as well. We must go ourselves, and quickly" She turns to me "Can you show us the way da'len? Without you we will not find it, and if you saw walking corpses or darkspawn, we must call the hunters back least anymore of us fall to this sickness."

"Of Course I am up to it, Keeper. I feel fine."

She smiles "I am relieved to hear it, I'm ordering the clan to pack the camp so we can go north. Take Merrill with you to the cave. Find Tamlen if you can but do it swiftly."

_No not Merrill, she must be more heart stricken than I!_ "Why do you want me to take Merrill?"

"Merrill knows a degree of my magic. Tamlen's chances of surviving the journey back are greater with her help. Also I want her to see this cave and mirror. She has a sense for these things, and could shed light on the nature of this illness."

_I don't want to see her, nor show her that place.._ "I understand Keeper. I'll need equipment before I go."

"Go quickly, for Tamlen's life hangs in the balance. Master Ilen can help you, go to him and ask to see his stock."

_The clan is watching me…Uh, we should've left after we delt with those shems. I've brought pain to the clan, how do I tell them, tell Merrill. I need to speak to Ashalle as well. I'm such a fool,… _Master Ilen's voice bring me out of my dark thoughts.

"I'm glad you've recovered. Once we find Tamlen, we can concentrate on the journey northward" His voice is full of hope, but the Hunter cut his speech "Thank you for the bow, Master Ilen, it is light and sturdy…much better than the one I made last year."

"You are more than welcome. My father made it and used it in battle against the Clayne tribes."

"I will carry it with honor" the Dalish Hunter said with pride.

_Bloody Gloat._

"May I see your crafts, Mater Ilen?"

I quickly sold all the excess armor and the other things I found in that blasted cave, bought all the health potions and injury kits along with a stronger tier of Dar'Misu's Mater Ilen wasn't happy that I took them, but I won't risk passing out in a fight with Merrill by my side . I take a sip of a health potion, I still feel a bit woozy but _I need to find Tamlen_, _It's my fault, my responsibility, if not I then who? I owe it to Tamlen and Merrill. But first I must see Ashalle, she must be by the fire, why wasn't she by the Aravel when I awoke? She must blame me as well…no, the Keeper must have told everyone to leave me be least they get sick too._

"By the Creators, it is so good to see you whole and well. I was so worried! All that time you were ill, the keeper didn't know if you were going to live or die! I've been outside the keeper's tent the whole time. I have never been so relived as when I heard you would pull through." Ashalle's voice change through that speech, she cared for me, that warmed my heart "What happened? Everyone says Tamlen may be dead!"

_No, I made it so he can make it! I will find him! _"He's missing. That's all we know right now."

"That's awful. I know you and Tamlen cared for each other since you were fledg'lins….I should not speak of it, you must be more careful, Your mother and father, may they rest in peace, would be horrified to see you take such risks."

_You are my mother regardless of who birthed me… _ "You've never spoken of my parents much, Ashalle."

She looks pained " What happened to them is a sad tale, and it's in the past. Reopening old wounds benefit no one."

_This whole situation is depressing but I want to know _"Don't we Dalish strive to learn of our past?"

"Ture. Perhaps you're old enough to hear this, though it… hardly seems like the right time."

"Is there ever a good time?"

She glares at me a bit "Very well, if I do not tell you now, you'll only wonder. Your mother was a hunter—one of the finest. And your father was the keeper before Marethari. He was with us for a very long time. Your mother was from another clan, and her elders did not approve of the match. She and your father had to meet in secret. One day, bandits caught them alone in the forest, your father was killed but your mother escaped."

Anger filled me, regardless if I never met the man, the Dalish honor each other. "SHEMLENS KILLED MY FATHER?!"

"Yes, but also city elves, too. Those of our kind living with humans do not hold to the old ways. Your mother held to life long enough to give birth to you, but grief wracked her heart, One night, she….she simply walked into the moonlight and never returned."

_Flat-ears harmed their kin? For petty coin? elvhen'alas_! _But my mother just left me… just gave up on life, on the clan!_ "My mother abandoned me?"

Ashalle sighs "She just…couldn't carry on without your father. The clan decided not to discuss this around you least it poison your heart with sadness."

"No, I understand."_ They loved each other, enough to bring a child into this world but no strength to raise it…I will respect them. _

"Our people have learned to live with much sorrow, it seemed only right that we not dwell on it. Your mother did leave you a gift, something of your father's for you to have once you were older. Perhaps the time has come…take this key. You'll see some chests behind the storage aravel by the halla pen. One of them was your mother's, it's contents are yours if you wish"

"Ma serannas, Ashalle" _But_ _I don't want her heirlooms._

I walk away from her and up the stairs, I found Merrill by an Aravel, I couldn't bring myself to look her in the eye. She sounded so cold and distance as she repeated what the keeper said to me. The entire time as we walked away from camp she didn't utter a word. _This is not how Merrill acts; Merrill would've cried and yelled at me or ramble on about finding Tamlen on the path to the cave but she acts so calm, _that irritated me _I have take this head on! _"Ir abelas, ma lethallan. It was my fault for our idiocy; we should not have listened to those shems…" _Please respond Merrill!_

Merrill stopped walking; I turned to her and wished I hadn't. Her entire body showed how pained she felt, she whimpered before she engulfed me in a hug. The guilt and shame clenched my heart tighter in that moment. "Don't think I blame you lethallin, I know Tamlen, he would have looked for that cave on his own, regardless, besides I'm glad you are here we'll be able to find it faster, and with Mythal's blessing we will find some sign of Tamlen along the path!" She sighs with a snivel "I just can't bear the thought of finding nothing… you can find him though, you're the best hunter of our clan!"

"Lethallan, I would never give up on either of you, I swear to the Creators I will find Tamlen!" I hold her closer.

That oath made Merrill smile a little. But her eyes are more focused and she turned me around "What are those things, Mahariel?"

In the distance we see, two rotten corpses of stout men, bearing weapons and running towards us. The stench they carry was vile, _These are darkspawn? They look like durgen'lens not shemlens, _"Merrill, take down the one with bow! I'll handle the other" Their armor was weak, 3 arrows to the chest and a quick jab though the armor slits and the creatures were slain. I looted the bodies salvaging whatever seemed useable, Merrill was uneasy with me touching the bodies "What were those things? Were those darkspawn?" suspicion and fear filled her words.

"That would make sense, though the Keeper told me they were as human men, not durgen'len" I was more curious of why they carried coin and health poultices.

"You can smell the evil on them! Where did they come from? Were they here before?"

"Maybe the mirror has something to do with it?" _The other walking corpses Tamlen and I fought didn't smell or look that foul._

"What would darkspawn have to do with our people? Nevermind, we need to find the cave, but are you fine Mahariel? You look pale, they didn't stick an arrow in you, did they?" Merrill asked with concern.

"It's just the exertion." I said as I take out a health potion and drink. "Let's not linger here, the cave is father down this path."

We walk pass the dead Halla along with the remains of the wolves I had slain two days ago, we find the small camp in the clearing which most likely belongs to the Grey Warden. Once we entered the cave Merrill was enthralled by the artifacts and halls of the cave but all the darkspawn that littered it; they were a hassle to deal with. Once we got to the back room with the mirror, we saw a shemlen standing in the middle of darkspawn corpses.

The shemlen looked at us with eyes ready to strike but he lowered his arms and took a relaxed stance "So you two were the ones fighting the darkspawn." He turns to me with his eyes staring admiring me, studying me it brought nausea to me. _Or maybe it's the sickness_. "You're the elf I found in the Forest? I'm surprised you have recovered so quickly."

"You are Duncan, the Grey Warden who saved me?" His armor did not match any of the local shemlen leader in this region. Though he should not be traveling alone, shemlens travel in packs, particularly in the forest.

He smiles slightly as he speaks about our first encounter with a sense of care, though he hasn't sheathed his weapons yet and Merrill speaks to him with respect. The Warden asked if we have come for him, _Shem_, though he starts asking about me and Tamlen's mishap in the cave and tells us of the origin of the mirror.

_This Taint, an illness from a blighted mirror, It must be destroyed. The Keeper would have done it, to protect our hunters and the wildlife. It should cease the darkspawn in this area. _The Keepers_ and _Merrill's knowledge kept me from death but this is "temporary", Tamlen needs to be found but, "We should destroy the mirror first" Duncan agrees and turns to break the glass with his sword, a bright light encases the room, he finally sheaths his swords, "Now, let's leave this cursed place, I must speak with the Keeper immediately regarding your curse. I have a way of curing you but let's discuss that at the camp."

"Not right away, we still have to look for our missing brother, Tamlen." I stated with authority, _I will not leave without finding him that is my oath._ Duncan's face tightens as his lips form a frown; he states that there is nothing we can do for our falon. "What do you mean, shem! I'm alive so could he! He is either here or in the forest and our hunters would find him." I hear Merrill gasp, hear her take a step back and lean on her staff as a cane for support. Then Warden sighs and repeats himself "Through your Keeper's healing arts and your own willpower, you did not die. But Tamlen has no chance. Trust me when I say HE IS GONE. Now, we should return."

I growled "I'm not willing to give up based off your trust! Besides his… won't there be a body?" I asked as my harsh tone died on a whimper." Merrill hasn't said a word; I'm too weak to turn to her as Duncan states the vile darkspawn could have dragged Tamlen's corpse away in those two days. "Warden, Merrill will lead you back to our camp to speak with the Keeper, I must look for my brother here and I will not leave not until I find some sign of him" Duncan was about to speak but Merrill grabs my arm and with a distressed look she begs "Mahariel, please let's leave now, your still sick and the Keeper should know of this" she turns to look at Duncan "Can my clansmen still return to this cave?" Duncan says we must burn the bodies and rooms before it is safe enough to explore. He waits a moment before politely stating "If you still want to look for signs, search quickly, I will wait by the entrance."

As my eyes follow him out the door I turn to Merrill "I made an oath to you and the Creators, I will find Tamlen!" with that I turn my attention to the creatures on the floor and began searching the pouches they carried. Merrill stood in front of the mirror looking at the gaping hole in the center "What made him touch the mirror, Mahariel, what cursed thing stole him from us?" I walk to her and picked up a shard of the mirror staring at it, it showed no reflection, trying to remember the exact words Tamlen had spoken before "I think…he saw a human village….a city… then he said somethin- someone saw him then I can't remember the rest" I hand her the shard and look behind the mirror, It hurt to tell her, "Merrill there is nothing of his here, let's search the rooms on our way out, we didn't get a good chance to look while fight the darkspawn."

Merrill was still looking at the shard, holding it as if it have writing on it and she was trying to read it, she puts it in her pouch and looks at me with dead eyes "Mahariel, I don't doubt the Warden's word," she sobs and curls to the floor "the Keeper trust his words so will I and Tamlen has Falon'Din to guide him" I bend down and hug her as I whisper in her ears of apologies and bits of lullabies sung to us as children, I couldn't think of anything else to do. _So much for taking responsibility I can't even take care of Merrill, Tamlen, Lethallin you should have lived, Merrill needs you._ I held Merrill up as she wipes her eyes "Emma abelas, Lethal'lan, but the Warden is waiting and we must get to the Keeper but we have to check the other rooms" Merrill nods and we start our search on our way to the entrance.

Once we reach the opening of the cave Duncan turn to us and speaks directly to Merrill "I'm terribly sorry for your lost one, the darkspawn are evil creatures and it's best to leave it at that." Merrill nods in acknowledgement but keeps her head up and eyes on the path ahead. Duncan turns to me and I lead the way back.

We returned to the camp the Keeper and Duncan left to have their discussion and Merrill left to collect the rest of the hunters, leaving me to tell the clan I had failed _"the best of the clan" Merrill I'm worthless_. I first spoke to Hahren Paivel to prepare the service, _I have to remember that eulogy sing it to Mother and Father later._ The children gather around for Hahren's story our people though he began asking to many questions on the Warden that I didn't have the answers to. I spoke to Ashalle who just fused over my health and asked about me and Merrill's situation, telling me I had her forgiveness and trust. As I walked towards Master Ilen's Aravel I saw Merrill walking out of the Keepers Aravel she looked pale, _What happened? _"Merrill, the Keeper is done speaking to the Warden? She wants to see me now?"

Merrill just hugged me and whispered "I will never blame you, da'mi, the keeper said in a year's time we will be in the land of our ancestor Sundermout, in Free Marches. Dareth Ma'Falon." With that she walked away before I could answer the Keeper and Duncan called me over me.

"Yes, Keeper?"

"Duncan and I have come to a compromise, in order to save your life you must join their order, da'len" Keeper Marethari said with sad eyes. Duncan spoke up "Yes, the cure is only found by joining the Grey Wardens, as sole protectors against the darkspawn we're granted some….immunity to the taint. But this is not charity, We enlist only the worthy, and you have certainly proven yourself, should you join, it's fair unlikely you'll ever be able to return."

What Merrill was rambling on about before made sense now _join now and get the cure then run and find the clan in a year's time… no should I stay with Grey Warden's, it would be a cowardly thing to run.._ "Keeper is the clan sending me away?"

"No, Mahariel, A blight is coming to our lands, a great army of darkspawn is gathering in the south and we cannot outrun their storm. Long ago the Dalish agreed to aid the Gray Warden against the Blight, should that day arrive. We must honor our agreement. It breaks my heart to send, you away as it would to see you die of the sickness, this is your duty and your salvation."_ You cannot run from duty…if not I then who? The clan has lost Tamlen, they shouldn't be brought into a deeper war with the darkspawn, and I meet the agreement_

"Then I accept this privilege, Duncan, If you'll have me" I say with determination as I look him in the eye. His eyes gain a glint in them as he bows to me and welcomes me to his order. The Keeper gives me an heirloom of the clan and bids me luck. Duncan asks if I'm ready to go. _This not a goodbye, I will return._ "We can leave now, Duncan, Keeper Marethari, thank you for the ring."


End file.
